A game of squash

I don’t like to think about this much, but I have a feeling I might be a fair-weather friend. If it’s easy to see someone (i.e. I live with them or am related to them), then I make a pretty good fist of being supportive and interested. If I’m swamped at work, exhausted, you live far away or Daniel Craig gets married and I’m depressed (again), then it won’t happen. I’m quite solitary. I have a diary from a few years ago when I lived by myself in which almost every entry is ‘cold today, reading X book, so happy’. For obvious reasons I generally try to disguise this, and when I’m in a sociable mood or it’s a sociable time of year (bah humbug) then it’s all to play for.

Last Saturday, I invited two girlfriends to my flat for supper before a Christmas party. These two girls were at the forefront of a fantastic group of people who saved my 4th year at university, when I came back from my year abroad in Paris and almost all of my friends had left (on the plus side, I was vaguely chic for the first time in my life). Shamefully, I hadn’t seen them in months.

I decided to do a risotto, mainly because all I’ve been reading for the last two weeks are Italian cookbooks and news articles about when Carluccio stabbed himself.

Butternut squash seemed appropriately seasonal and I really never cook with it, so off I trotted to our local supermarket, where, as usual, they were understocked and overpriced. I won’t name names but it’s obviously not Waitrose. Having to abandon my dreams of fresh sage, I bought dried and also some pine nuts and lardons. After all, if in doubt, add bacon.

Back home, I smashed up the dried sage in oil to try to make it more interesting, added some garlic and lemon juice, sloshed it over the quartered squash and roasted it for an hour. I then scraped out the insides and pureed them because they were weirdly stringy. I’m not sure I really like squash, given the faff that is required and the fact it doesn’t taste of much.

How was I to know that one of the girls would turn up and announce that butternut squash risotto was her speciality? The pressure was on (sort of, mainly I just laughed in a nonchalant manner and surreptitiously topped up the Pinot Grigio so she wouldn’t be in a position to do an accurate taste test).

To cut a long story short, presents were exchanged, risotto was eaten and enjoyed, bonding was done, a napkin was set on fire, and we didn’t make it to the party.

Butternut squash risotto
(I think it would have tasted pretty much the same without the squash…)

Serves 4

You will need:
· 1 onion, finely chopped
· 1 butternut squash (or not, seriously, I don’t think it matters and would save you an hour)
· 200g lardons or diced pancetta
· 75g pine nuts
· 400g Arborio rice
· 2 glasses of white wine
· 1 litre of chicken stock
· Sage, oil, lemon and garlic mixture
· Lots of parmesan
· Lots of butter

Method:
· Quarter the squash and roast with the sage mixture for an hour at 200c.
· Scrape out the insides of the squash and puree. Set aside.
· Fry the onion in butter and oil, add the rice and stir, making sure each grain is glossy and coated.
· Add the wine and let it reduce.
· Start adding the hot stock in the approved risotto fashion.
· Ladle, stir, ladle stir, make scintillating small talk, ladle, stir etc. It should be all done in 15-20minutes.
· Meanwhile, you can quickly toast the pine nuts in a dry pan, and then fry the lardons in the same one.
· Add the squash puree (or not, whatever) to the risotto and stir though.
· Take off the heat, leave for a second and then whack in a lot of butter and parmesan and beat together madly. Season.
· Divide onto plates and scatter the lardons and pine nuts on top.

Serve with a watercress salad and a sharp dressing.